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Wives-tales via e-mail

  • Jan. 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 AM
Tai girl
I've gotten this e-mail a few times, and it always makes me wonder who decided to sit down and write out as many wives-tales as they could. Here's part of the e-mail that makes me want to respond to it.





"Dawn dish detergent kills fleas instantly. Dawn Dishwashing Liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas."

My first thought when I read this was "yeah, i'm sure it does, but water kills fleas too." Seriously though, it's a good dish wash because it breaks up grease, but grease is oil and oil is what makes healthy hair and in this case fur. Drying out your dog's coat that badly is going to cause a lot more problems.

______

"Rainy day cure for dog odor: Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh."

And then when he licks himself and barfs all over the floor, you'll really be glad he doesn't smell musty!

______

"Did you know that Colgate Toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?"

No, really it doesn't. Jeeze, how many times do doctors have to tell people that putting toothpaste on burns actually makes the burn worse?

______

"Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose."

Mysterious chemicals... and mints. Try a shower? The steam is more likely to loosen sinuses than mints.

______

"Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... if menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly."

Yeah, and the same thing happens when you spray them with water.

______

"Balm for broken blisters... to disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine, a powerful antiseptic."

Alcohol works the same and both likely hurt the same.

______

"Quaker Oats for fast pain relief... it's not for breakfast any more! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain."

Because the mushy-ness somehow works better than hot water.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]evildagmar wrote:
Jan. 2nd, 2009 09:58 pm (UTC)
Oh there's an easy solution to this...
Simply come up with a bromide of your own that can result in a fatality (and optionally, isn't likely to involve being administered to small children). Over time, the people who read and resend these things will weed themselves out of the gene pool.

Try something like:

"Ever wondered why mildew grows back in the shower so fast? That's because surfactant cleaners can't reach the roots of the mildew, just like the weeds in your garden. To kill it off properly (and permanently) take a gallon bucket half filled with *hot* water, then mix in six cups of concentrated bleach and six cups of strong ammonia. Stir for two minutes with a plastic spoon, but use rubber gloves to keep the mixture off your hands."

A mind is a terrible thing.

[info]nichy wrote:
Jan. 3rd, 2009 05:50 am (UTC)
Re: Oh there's an easy solution to this...
So evil!
[info]zorn24601 wrote:
Jan. 2nd, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC)
"Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... if menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly."

'Yeah, and the same thing happens when you spray them with water.'

Wow, you must have some weak, pansy-ass hornets where you are. Around here, come the heat of summer, spraying a Yellow Jacket hornet with water will get you an angry damn hornet with you on the top of her hit list. By late summer, even Raid may or may not work on them. We've resorted to using those yellow hanging traps that get them all locked up together so they end up killing each other. Gets the hornets out of the way, and provides great entertainment if you're slightly sadistic.

[info]nichy wrote:
Jan. 3rd, 2009 05:51 am (UTC)
I use the hose with a pressure sprayer ; )
[info]rentausha wrote:
Jan. 3rd, 2009 03:45 am (UTC)
Remedies
I didn't know. I was going to try some of those remedies. :-(
[info]nichy wrote:
Jan. 3rd, 2009 05:53 am (UTC)
Re: Remedies
I knew you would reply, I almost put "Tausha, don't get mad!" on the post. ; )

I don't know if they all suck, just some of them do and that makes me suspect the others. The glue and splinter one works, if that helps. : )
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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